Somewhere between November 19 and this evening, a lot happened - including, of course (no pun intended?), finishing my first quarter of doctoral studies.
During this time, I meant to write more, document the big and small happenings of pursuing PhD-dom (e.g., big - being a keynote speaker at the European Public Health Association's conference in Slovenia, coding up results for my research team's big deliverables right before finals; small - learning how to better balance finals' studying and maintaining a regular physical activity routine, having a teammate say she's never seen such beautiful graphs made in Stata, toasting to a few cohortmates after our biostatistics final). I don't want to miss the big and small occurrences, as I truly believe I have much to learn from both during the course of my PhD. That's important to me.
But here's the thing - taking a break, a real break, after my first quarter back at school turned out be really important too. That meant leaving my computer back in Seattle when I went to Maine to see family (and finally meet my nephew!). No one, including myself, could remember the last winter holiday in which I wasn't frantically doing some kind of work for folks back at the office; for instance, last year, I was running analyses for WHO on universal health coverage while my brother and sister-in-law were making Christmas cookies. That meant not going into the office until last week - and only chipping away at a few things without getting particularly worked up about my current to-do list. That meant not opening any textbooks, however tempting they were, and only reading non-scholastic books (cue Michelle Obama's incredible Becoming).
After 10+ years working in one academic environment or another, you'd think I would have learned how to better ride the tides of work, school, and non-work-school activities by now. And while I've certainly made progress, it's still a challenge to truly step away and give myself a break. How come? Well, the dimensions are undoubtedly numerous and likely a blend of conscious and unconscious factors. I know they include having a people-pleasing streak 10 miles wide and feeling like I need to deliver on the privileges I've been afforded in my life thus far (i.e., growing up with a supportive and loving family; having access to great educational and professional opportunities). I know they involve being both driven to succeed and terrified of failure, never wanting to either let myself down or the people and organizations that have invested so much in me to date. I know they include wanting to improve the world, in one way or another, and recognizing how much hard work it takes to tackle the important, complicated challenges so many people face. But as I've increasingly learned, I can't put my best self forward and contribute to improving the world's health if I'm mentally drained and/or physically exhausted from burning every candles' ends. I have to step away, take a real break, and then return with greater clarity and purpose.
Melinda Gates' selection of "grace" as her word of the year for 2018 - and now again for 2019 - resonates with me. Grace for myself, grace for others, and grace for the circumstances I can't do anything about. Here's to a new quarter - Winter 2019! - and a new year.
Today I learned...
There are absolutely no standard CV formats in existence - none. I recently realized I'm missing some key sections in my CV, plus I hadn't updated it since March 2018. Some great recommendations came through a Twitter inquiry and Google has some decent options, but it looks like this is going to be more of an endeavor than I originally thought.
Today I'm grateful for...
Hot lemon water. While I fully recognize that any "science" suggesting health benefits from hot lemon water is dubious at best, I nonetheless enjoy (1) its taste; (2) the warmth it provides; and (3) any placebo effects in combatting fledgling colds it may offer.
Today's best part...
Was hearing from a Middlebury College junior who is absolutely ecstatic to pursue training and a career in global health research. Her excitement for combining her skills in computer science and dedication to public health has energized me, and I so look forward to trying to connect her with the future opportunities.
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