PSL? Try personal statement season

Yesterday I was asked to review and give feedback on someone's personal statement for a PhD application - something I'm always happy to do if I have the bandwidth, especially for current or former post-bachelor fellows (PBFs) at IHME - and it got me thinking: what did my personal statement say?

How did I talk about what drives me to work in this field, often sacrificing sleep, fitness, social life, etc. for the pursuit of better science and measurement of population health? And one month into my own PhD program, would I agree with what I said (of course, while trying to account for some level of self-promotion and/or over-the-top-edness that is essentially mandatory for an application but would rarely, if ever, creep into my everyday manner)? Well, these are questions I could easily answer.

Dated November 2016, here are two excerpts from my PhD application's personal statement; first, the second paragraph:

A recent Lancet editorial excerpt aptly captures my views on research and what motivates my work in global health: “Because what you don't measure you don't know, and what you don't know you can't act on. Good science is the start.” I came to fully appreciate the consequences of inadequate scientific knowledge and action when I worked at an inpatient and outpatient research unit at the National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH). Our goal was to better define the diagnosis and treatment of pediatric bipolar disorder, a diagnosis children often receive despite having symptoms that markedly differed from adult typology. A bipolar diagnosis typically triggers medication restrictions for clinical care and insurance reimbursement – outcomes that left many children prescribed powerful antipsychotics which failed to improve their emotional or behavioral states. Although I arrived at NIMH planning to pursue a clinical career, my experiences fundamentally shifted my attention toward the more systemic challenges underlying effective health service provision: what gaps emerge in access to proper diagnosis and treatment; who is most affected; and which policies can result in substandard care. I realized that science alone was not the panacea, as many social, political, and cultural factors affect how people seek care and what services are available. Yet rigorous research, from better data to stronger methods, can set the foundation for advancing health outcomes of all individuals, including my patients. This belief serves as the cornerstone for my professional pursuits in population health research.

And my summary paragraph:

I view doctoral training as a critical next step toward strengthening my contributions to the global health field. The world’s most vulnerable and marginalized populations, from the United States to Uganda, deserve the best possible researchers, practitioners, and evidence-informed advocates working on their behalf. While I have wholeheartedly enjoyed my roles and work to date, I want to bolster what I can offer our field in terms of advanced study design, data collection, and analysis. I see my career path as a mixture of leading applied research and scientific advising, ideally working closely with collaborating institutions to identify key health priorities and strategies for evaluating intervention coverage and program impact. I also derive great satisfaction from working with, as well as mentoring, early-career global health professionals, and thus hope to blend my research endeavors with teaching in an academic setting. The University of Washington’s PhD program in Global Health Metrics would substantially expand my skills and research capacity in population health measurement, ultimately preparing me to work at the forefront of our discipline. I believe my interests, experience, and energy will be an asset to this program, and that together we can elevate the science of improving the world’s health.

Three immediate reactions and thoughts - and application lessons learned:

• I wish I asked someone to copyedit my personal statement before I submitted it and the rest of my application. Copyeditors are the unsung heroes of the written word.
• Application lesson learned: ask a pal or colleague who has some kind of formal copyediting training to check out your application materials at least a few days before you submit. And then buy them their favorite beverage and thank them endlessly.

• The second paragraph of a PhD program personal statement - or so I've been told - is supposed to clearly demonstrate what drives you, what keeps you going when the going gets tough, and so on. Working at NIMH right after college and truly seeing the effects of research translation on health service delivery on my patients did that for me. While the work I've done over the last decade rarely resembles anything I experienced that year (the main exception was well-organized and color-coded spreadsheets for tracking patient outcomes), my time at NIMH fundamentally shaped my career trajectory. 
• Application lesson learned: don't shy away from the life experiences that brought you to applying to a PhD program. What you'll end up writing will come off as much more genuine and reflective of why you're a great fit for the program - all pluses!

• The summary paragraph is not only meant to bring everything together but also to provide a sense of one's future career trajectory and why PhD program xyz would support that. Honestly, I think my summary paragraph is pretty darn great, particularly since it neatly represents what I hope to do and why I think the UW program will get me there. Does it have some heavy only-found-in-applications phrasing? Of course - "the forefront of our discipline" anyone? - but overall, I think it captures me, my motivations, and future aspirations well. 
• Application lesson learned: draft a summary paragraph that borderline feels like a call to action; silence any lingering "wait, why does this person want to be at this program?" with assertive, enthusiastic statements about how you want to contribute to the world and how University x's PhD program in yz will get you there. And then redraft it again. And again. This is the last thing the application committee will read about you (or at least that's written by you) - make it count!